Time Flies By

     Well, it's almost 10pm on Tuesday and I am still awake.  I've been awake since 11am on Monday.  This is because of my bi-polar.  I was diagnosed with bi-polar when I was 18 and in the psych ward for the second time.  Funny thing about my stay in the psych ward this time.  I have almost no recollection of what happened in there.  I was seeing things in the light above my bed.  I attacked a nurse (and apparently it wasn't my first time).  I was being put in 4 point restraints and I would always be able to get at least one of my hands out of it,. 
     One day, a man I didn't know came in the room and told me I could no longer stay there.  He asked me if I wanted to go to the state hospital or a private psych ward.  I've heard that state hospitals treated patients like shit so i chose the private one.  Turns out he was a lawyer.  I don't know if he was hired by the hospital or by my parents but he was there.
     When the ambulance arrived to transport me, I heard one of the nurses say they would probably have to put me in a body bag.  I thought they were going to kill me, chop me up and put me in the body bag.  The ambulance crew said I would be OK.  Found out later that a body bag is something that you get wrapped up in so you can't move.  Another form of restraint.  I remember being put on a 1:1 meaning I needed to be watched by someone who could be no more than an arms length away from me. Days and nights blurred together for a few days until I finally broke through my black cloud and was able to be active again.
     I will talk more another time, but for now I have said enough.  I am making this blog to recount moments in my life that I was mentally sick.  For good or for bad, it will eventually come out in this blog I'm sure.  Til next time, see ya.